life will go on ....

It's pouring rain in Oregon as usual. So, what else is new right? Well, the news this week from me is bad and heartbreaking.

My last post was posted prematurely, due to my excitement and wanting the whole world to know how thrilled me, my husband, and our families were about my pregnancy. Thus, I bringing with a sad heart that we had a miscarriage, just shy of 11 weeks. (If you have a queasy stomach, read with caution.) It was sad and painful. John, my husband, should get an award or medal of some kind because he was and is my rock, hero, champion. He stayed up with me all night from 2 am till 7 am as I passed everything out of my system. He helped me make a bed in the bathtub because I didn't want to accidently bleed on our rented apartment's carpet. He sat with me and helped me to the toilet. We had talked to his sisters who are either nurses or miscarried and were told to save anything which didn't consist of blood. And as I was feeling ill, John was the man and made sure we didn't flush anything important down just in case the hospital wanted specimens. Some who we made it through the pain-ridden night, took an hour and a half long nap and called to see who could see us.

On Friday we were going to find us a mid-wife or someone to have regular check-ups, but we visited too long with our niece who came to give us massages. And by Sunday night, things were already too late, because the ordeal was all the wee hours of Monday morning.

The first OB GYN told us that we should have went to the Emergency Room. What could they do for us, seriously? I doubt I would even want to be in our car in my condition and I wasn't in danger of death.

We were lucky that the next place John called, since I was too shaken up to talk on the phone, didn't hang up on us till we had an appointment for that afternoon. I was so grateful that John was able to get the day off from work. We just cuddled on the couch, talked, and took naps till it was time for our appointment.

At the hospital, we learned that our fears were correct, it was a miscarriage and through the ultrasound we also learned there was a little bit of blood/lining that still needed to come out. They gave me medicine, medications for the up coming contractions, took blood for testing my hormone levels and blood type, and set us home. John took the next day off as well so that we could have the time to grieve and heal.

We know that God has a plan for us and it doesn't include having a child right now. We are ok with it and are doing fine. The hard part right now for me is telling all my friends at school, because I told them last week the news and now have to "correct" it. The good news is that I'm physically fine, no pains and I have my thesis art and paper to keep me busy.

Well, I hope everyone is doing well. And I hope your week has been blessed with happiness and sunshine, because I want the sun to come back to Oregon.